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B.J Sandburg Part Thirty.
"Oh, boy!" Blair exclaimed, flipping the diaper back over the tiny butt and turning his head. "How can anything so small make so much of something so stinky?"
Jim was on the other side of the room, pillow covering his face. "Just change it, Chief, I'm begging you here."
Blair wrinkled his nose and exposed the baby's butt again, quickly grabbing a huge handful of wipes and setting to work. "This can't be right," he complained, eyes watering. "This isn't poop, it's toxic waste."
"They only drink milk," Jim protested, face still muffled by the pillow.
"Well someone's been feeding this one nuclear waste," Blair announced, finally succeeding in wiping the baby's bottom clean. He deftly seized another diaper and fastened it in place.
Bundling the soiled diaper up and wrapping it in a plastic bag, Blair carried it outside and dropped it in a hamper. "What are we gonna do when we don't have a laundry service to take care of smelly diapers any more?" he joked, back in the room.
"What any sensible person would do," Jim said, peeking around the pillow and sniffing gingerly. Deciding it was safe he took a real breath. "Pay a Diaper Service to wash them for us."
"Think we can get them to change the babies too?"
"What and have you miss out on all the fun?" Jim protested.
"I'm willing to share the fun," Blair declared nobly. He picked up his jacket, nodding towards the other crib. "Change the other one."
Jim straightened his back. "Do you think I can't?" he challenged. He leaned over the crib and then reeled back a little. "Um, Chief?"
"No way, Sentinel-boy," Blair said heartlessly. "Change your daughter. And pick a name from my list," he ordered sternly. "I'd like my children to have names before they get married and have to change them."
"My daughters will keep their own names," Jim said arrogantly.
"Uh huh," Blair grinned. "Haven't you changed your tune?"
Jim stared back at him innocently.
"Hold down the fort while I go check us out of the hotel."
"Take care," Jim warned.
"I know, I know. Don't talk to any reporters." Blair paused in the doorway. "I think they're all gone by now anyway."
"There's always one or two stubborn ones hanging around," Jim said suspiciously. He unfastened the plastic clip and pulled open the front. "Oh man," he wailed, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "Chief?"
Blair closed the door on his beseeching cry, grinning broadly.
********
The hotel had their luggage packed and ready.
"Please convey our deepest sympathies to Detective Ellison," the manager said sincerely. "And to yourself, of course."
"Thank you," Blair accepted, pulling out his wallet.
"Please," the manager said, waving his hand dismissively. "Tell Detective Ellison there's no charge for the last two weeks."
Blair opened his mouth to protest but the manager stood firm. All the young man could do was thank him and try not to look guilty.
No wonder Jim hated this! He'd had to deal with a lot more people since B.J's 'death'. And every one of them was full of sincere commiserations. It was very wearing.
A bellhop loaded the luggage in the truck, and Blair tipped him generously and then stood looking up at the hotel, thinking back on the happy weeks he and Jim had spent there on honeymoon. Those days seemed so carefree now, despite the worries they'd had on their minds.
"Mr. Sandburg?"
Blair turned and frowned at the woman addressing him. He suspected instantly that she was a reporter and her sharp-eyed expression only confirmed his impression.
"I have nothing to say," he said politely, climbing into the truck.
"Please, Mr. Sandburg," the woman persisted. "I'm Shelley Roche, and I represent Harry McMillan."
Blair frowned thoughtfully. "Harry McMillan the agent?"
"That's right," she said eagerly. "Mr. McMillan has been trying to reach Detective Ellison for the last two days."
"Detective Ellison isn't talking to anyone," Blair said dismissively.
Shelley pulled a card from her pocket. "If you could just give him this card with Mr. McMillan's number on it," she coaxed. "Mr. McMillan understands that Detective Ellison is a man left on his own to raise two young children. Hiring Mr. McMillan as his agent to sell his story to the world could only benefit those children."
"Mr. McMillan is a shark feeding on people's personal tragedies," Blair said in disgust. "Frankly you'd have more luck convincing Detective Ellison to sell his children than his story." He crumpled the card up before her eyes, then put the truck in gear. "Good day."
"Bloodsucker," he muttered as he drove back to the clinic. A sign caught his eye and on impulse he turned down a side street and into the industrial estate. He fancied he could still catch the stench of smoke in the air as he parked near the burnt-out warehouse and climbed from the truck.
Leaning against the hood he studied what was left of the block, cordoned off by fluttering police tape. Two people had died here. Jim had almost been a third.
Blair rubbed his stomach, still feeling the pain from the caesarean section he'd endured to bring his children safely into the world.
Two people are born, two people die.
Nelson Drew and his accomplice had chosen to throw their lives away in an effort to gain revenge on a man who was only doing his job, and Blair might have died by his side if he hadn't changed back into himself ahead of schedule.
Was this all some grand cosmic plan?
Or just a bunch of stuff that happened?
Believing in grand design had its allure, but it also had its frightening side. It implied that all this had been planned. Falling in love with Jim, making babies with him, even changing back in time to save Jim's life, all written down on some piece of parchment long before he was born.
Blair quirked a grin. And would that be such a bad thing? As destinies go it wasn't perfect, but it had been one wild ride.
Falling in love with Jim. Who would have seen that coming? Blair drifted back into memory to those early days as a fledgling woman, trying his wings, casting his eyes about. And discovering, right in front of him, Jim.
Making babies with Jim. Even now the thought sent a shiver down his spine. Two perfect little lives made in his body, put there by Jim. Let anyone muse about that for a while and then deny the existence of miracles. Blair decided he would like to see someone try.
"Deep thoughts, Sandy?"
Blair looked up from his mental wanderings and smiled at Megan. "Didn't know you were back in town," he said simply.
Megan looked around them with a frown. "Couldn't find any place better to hang around?"
Blair shook his head, eye creeping to the burnt out tangle of wreckage. "Just remembering."
Megan took his arm. "Well let's do it somewhere else. I'm starving."
Blair rubbed his nose. "There's a nice take-out in town," he mused. "You like meat pies?"
"You ask an Aussie that?" Megan scorned. "I was raised on meat pies."
"Then follow me," Blair invited, climbing in the truck.
Fifteen minutes later they sat in a local park, munching on meat pies and drinking sodas.
"I'm glad you came back to see us before heading home," Blair ventured.
"I needed to get away," Megan confided. "Get my head together. It's not every day you find out that one of your best friends is... one of your other best friends."
"I thought you took it very well," Blair said honestly. "And I wanted to thank you again. I know it wasn't a small thing we asked of you. Lying and falsifying official reports."
Megan shrugged. "I'd do all that and more for a friend," she said. "Especially since I know you and Jim would go all the way for me."
Blair studied her open face for a moment. He couldn't resist leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.
Megan looked startled. "What was that for?"
"Being a good friend," Blair chuckled, reaching over and wiping some pie crumbs off her cheek. "And a good keeper of secrets."
"You and Jim have put that skill to the test between you," Megan smiled. "No wonder Melbourne seemed dull in comparison. Hotbed of crime and perversion that it is, we have hardly any Sentinels and gender-benders."
"Hardly any?" Blair laughed.
"Per capita," Megan nodded.
Blair took a big bite of his cooling pie. "So, Melbourne seemed dull, hey?"
"Yeah." Megan shrugged. "To tell you the truth, Sandy, when I got your call my feet where already getting itchy. I spent the last week making plots and plans."
Blair cocked his head. "Do these plots and plans involve you staying in Cascade?" he asked hopefully.
"They might."
"That would be..." Blair's throat closed up and he could only nod for a moment. "That would be really great," he finally managed.
"I think so too," Megan said gently.
"Hey, Megan?" Blair asked quietly.
"Hmm?"
"Do you miss B.J?"
Megan didn't hesitate. "Yeah," she nodded.
Blair shot her a look of disbelief. "Really?"
Megan made a face. "Was that some test I just failed?"
"No, not at all," Blair hurried to assure her. "I just expected the same answer Jim's been giving me. That I am B.J."
"Well sure, that's easy for Jim to say," Megan said mildly. "He always knew who you were. But I got to know you as another person, as a woman. Although..." She cocked her head. "No offence, but in hindsight, you were a pretty lousy woman at first."
"None taken," Blair assured her. "I got better though, didn't I?"
"Sure, under my expert tutelage," Megan winked. "But like I was saying, Jim always knew who you were. I didn't."
Blair considered this. "Which one of us do you prefer?" he asked slyly.
"Oh no," Megan shook her head. "No comparisons. I will miss our shopping trips though."
"Shopping," Blair said wistfully. "I know I was playing into a female stereotype, but I really loved shopping."
"It's a female stereotype because a lot of females like shopping," Megan lectured. "I think it's a genetic thing too."
"The Shopping Gene?"
"Yeah, and in men it's somehow converted to a Sporting Gene."
"That explains a lot," Blair chuckled.
Megan leaned over and nudged him with her shoulder. "You now, you seem different from the Blair before B.J."
"I do?" Blair asked curiously.
Megan nodded thoughtfully. "Still Blair, with maybe a smattering of B.J thrown in. I like it."
Blair shrugged one shoulder. "I am different," he conceded. "I don't believe anyone could live the year I've lived and not change."
"I guess having kids will do that to you."
"And falling in love," Blair said softly.
Megan slanted him a curious glance. "I can't resist asking any more," she murmured. "You and Jim, were you a couple before... you know?"
Blair shook his head and Megan's eyes grew round. "Really?" she breathed. "Wow."
"Wow," Blair agreed. He smiled into her wide eyes. It was so good to be chatting with her again.
"So how is that affecting you now? You fell in love as a man and a woman, and now you're a man and a man."
Blair shrugged sombrely. "Your guess is as good as mine."
"Do you still love him?"
"Yes," Blair nodded firmly. "And he still loves me. We've sorted out that much between us."
"Glad to hear it," Megan congratulated him. "I guess your time as a woman wasn't completely wasted then."
"But whether he's still in love with me," Blair continued. "Or whether I can be in love with him for that matter. I just don't know."
"You mean sex?" Megan asked bluntly.
Blair shook his head. "I forgot how forthright you are."
"No need to pussy foot," Megan dismissed. "So it's the sex part you're worrying about. But you two love each other, that's no big surprise. You always did, didn't you?"
Blair raised a brow. "You think?"
"I'll tell you a secret, Sandy," Megan said quietly. "When I first realised my friend B.J was arse over tit in love with big Jim Ellison, I was worried. See, me and a lot of other people expected Jim Ellison to fall apart when you left. We were waiting for it. We'd seen him fall apart before, you see, and it wasn't a pretty sight."
"I remember," Blair murmured, fascinated by her tale.
"But instead he showed up with this female version of you. No word of a lie," she swore fervently as Blair looked at her in surprise. "That's just what I remember thinking. So when B.J fell in love with Jim I was just plain worried for her. I thought he was using her as a substitute for you."
Blair felt the breath leave his lungs in a gasp. "You what?"
Megan nodded soberly. "I couldn't say that to her of course. And as time went by and I could see Jim was just as much in love with her, I figured I'd been wrong and was darn glad I'd kept my big mouth shut."
"I don't believe this," Blair gasped. "You really thought that?"
"Turns out I was right though doesn't it? In a really weird screwed up way."
Blair tilted his head, feeling totally confused. "I have no idea," he admitted.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is," Megan scratched her head. "Well, you and Jim were the best of friends before. I've never seen any two people closer. Complete opposites, and yet so totally in tune with each other. Would it really be so bad if you went back to that?"
"I've thought of that," Blair admitted sadly. "And maybe if we hadn't had this last year together that might have been enough. But Jim and I, we've been lovers. I didn't even know what the word meant until I discovered it with him."
Megan put her hand on his knee and squeezed sympathetically.
"I guess if all we ever get back is our friendship, it'll be better than nothing," Blair whispered. "But I'll never forget that for a little while... we had everything."
"You'll have that again," Megan said fiercely. "I just know it. You just have to trust in your love for each other."
Blair slanted her a crooked glance. "You really believe that?"
"Hey, you and Jim have got me believing the impossible," she declared. "Having faith in true love is a cinch next to that."
Blair huffed a laugh. "Have faith, huh?"
Megan jumped up from the park bench and shook the crumbs from her dress. "Exactly," she confirmed. "Now, take me to see those gorgeous godchildren of mine. Have you named them yet?"
"Well, we have a short list of five names each," he said, taking her arm and letting her lead him away.
"Five hey?" Megan giggled.
"Five each," Blair corrected. He slanted her another glance. "Megan?"
"Yeah?"
"Tell me honestly. What do you think of the name Drexler for a girl? Seriously?"
Megan gaped at him, and then heaved a laugh. "You haven't changed," she said fondly.
********
Jim frowned at the list. "Grace?" he said ominously.
"I like the name Grace," Blair said innocently.
"My mother's name was Grace." Jim said flatly.
Blair figured he was being threatened rather than informed, as he knew Jim knew he knew his mother's name.
"I know."
"Forget it, Chief, I'm not naming my daughter after my mother."
"The woman that gave you life," Blair reminded him. "I have a certain reverence for mothers right now."
"The woman that abandoned me," Jim said hardly. "Besides, if we named one twin after my mother we'd have to name the other after yours."
"And what's wrong with that?" Blair challenged. "Something wrong with my mother?"
"I wouldn't dream of dissing your parent, Chief," Jim said significantly.
Blair flushed a little. Jim never forgot anything, and obviously his home truths about William Ellison still stung. "Of course you wouldn't," he murmured meekly. Then he brightened. "Hey, what about middle names?"
Jim looked intrigued despite himself. "Middle names?"
"Yeah," Blair said, getting excited by the thought. "Something Grace Sandburg-Ellison, and Something Naomi Sandburg-Ellison."
Jim rubbed his jaw. "I kinda like that," he admitted.
Blair stared disbelievingly. "You mean that? We have consensus?"
"Yeah," Jim nodded. "So it seems."
"So we have middle names!" Blair said triumphantly.
"And they're only two weeks old," Jim said in delight.
End of Part Thirty.
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