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B.J Sandburg Part Eighteen
"We must be nuts," Jim said again. Blair was in his element, glasses on the end of his nose, researching madly.
"The hardest part will be finding the doctor to perform the C-section," he mused, looking into the distance thoughtfully. "Finding someone willing to take two babies from a perfectly healthy woman..." he trailed off, looking a bit green around the gills. "Don't think of that," he mumbled to himself, swallowing hard.
"One day at a time, eh Chief?" Jim said wryly.
"It's the only way I'm gonna get through this," Blair swore fervently. "You know, your suggestion before wasn't a bad one. Mom might know a doctor. I'll cal her tonight and ask her to come over. News like this is best given face to face."
Jim was the one who felt queasy now. "News," he repeated thinly. "We have to break this news to everyone."
"Well, I think they might notice eventually," Blair pointed out.
"We must be nuts. We have no idea what we're getting ourselves into."
"I had no idea what I was getting into with this gender thing," Blair mused. "I thought I was prepared but I couldn't possibly have been. I've never been a woman before, and no amount of advice was going to prepare me to be one. This is the same. I've never been preg... preg..." He firmed his jaw. "Pregnant," he forced out. "I've never been pregnant before either. So I can't possibly be prepared."
Jim rubbed his face. "After spending so much time convincing people we weren't a couple, now we have to tell them you're pregnant. This is gonna be fun."
"I'll just play the poor misused girlfriend," Blair suggested. "And you can be the big bad seducer."
"You're not helping," Jim said through gritted teeth.
Blair assumed a pathetic expression, hands clenched under his chin, eyelids fluttering. "Poor B.J. Seduced and abandoned. Woe is me."
"Abandoned sounds like a good idea," Jim mumbled. A thought occurred to him and he jerked. "Abandoned! What happens to me when you change back? And the... infants?"
Blair held up a hand. "One day at a time, remember? No baby talk."
"That's hardly practical," Jim protested.
"And yet that's the way I'm going to do it," Blair said sweetly. "I'm the one with these pod people inside me, so I'm the one who gets to be willfully, nay, criminally blind if I care to be, okay?"
Jim leaned back in is chair. "So you can be as unreasonable as you like? Is that how it works?"
Blair frowned thoughtfully for a moment and then his face cleared. "Yep."
"I don't think I like this very much," Jim muttered.
"Try playing it from my side," Blair said derisively. "Did you see the video of that scan? My insides look like something out of a H.R Geiger art book. I expect Ripley to show up with a laser cannon any second."
Jim recalled the seething black and white scans of the twins and all the stuff around them. Just recalling the neat little lettered signs on the video, pointing out placenta and bladders and skulls was enough to send a chill down his spine. Imagine knowing that was all going on inside him? He studied Blair with awe as the young woman calmly pressed a button on the computer and then selected a chocolate from a box and delicately placed it in his mouth.
Okay then, if Blair wanted to be unreasonable, so be it. It would be up to him to keep things running smoothly while Blair went through all this. Jim firmed his shoulders.
Blair finished the box of Sees candy and scrabbled around the empty paper cups mournfully, probably hoping for one he'd missed. "When's dinner?"
Jim pressed a hand to his stomach. These days he had to force himself to eat, but Blair was still dedicated to devouring everything in sight and then going out for more.
"What about that diet the doctor mentioned?"
Blair's face darkened and his hand jerked out of the empty box. "She suggested I stay away from flour. Breads, cereals etc."
"I'm sure she didn't mean you should then replace them with chocolate," Jim pointed out.
Blair stood up stiffly, hand pushing down the top of his laptop with a firm click. "I'll be in my room," he said formally. "Please call me when dinner is ready." He walked away with dignity.
"Got chocolate in your room, Chief?" Jim called after him.
Blair froze in midstep, back to Jim. Then he kept walking.
"Gotcha," Jim grinned.
An hour later Jim peered in the door, checking on a now napping Blair. Curled on one side he softly snored, the bed around him littered with little paper cups. Jim tiptoed in and filched the half-empty box, then sniffed out another box, this one full of peanut butter cups. How long had Blair been stashing this stuff away?
Jim leaned over, studying Blair's sleeping face. How were they going to bear this new burden?
Feeling guilty despite his good intentions, Jim prepared a huge meal, using one of Blair's favourite recipes for vegetable lasagna. He was just putting the finishing touches to a bowl of salad when Blair emerged from his room, eyes narrowed.
"Where are they?" he hissed.
"I ate them," Jim said mildly. "Dinner's ready."
Blair's mouth opened and closed. "You ate them? All of them?"
"Imagine that," Jim marveled. "A box and half of candy? You'd tell me if I was getting fat, wouldn't you, Blair?"
Blair gritted his teeth. "I'm gonna get fat soon enough," he griped.
"But you're gonna stay healthy while you do it," Jim said mildly, laying the salad bowl on the table.
Blair wavered, face torn between anger and hunger. The obvious urge won and he sat down grumpily, ladling some salad on his plate. "This whole thing better not go like this," he said around a mouthful of lettuce. "You're not gonna order me around for the next four months."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"So," Blair munched. "When are we gonna tell everybody?"
Jim's slight appetite faltered. He laid his fork down. "I've been thinking about that." He watched Blair eating, wondering how to broach this subject. "I know you don't want to think about after the birth..."
Blair pointed a fork. "Then don't mention it," he warned.
"B.J. will be gone," Jim continued ruthlessly. "But, if all goes well, there'll be two infants left behind."
Blair slammed his fork down. "Can't a man eat in peace?" he demanded.
"I think we should get married," Jim overrode him loudly.
Blair stared back at him. "To each other?" he gaped.
"No, to Regis and Kathy," Jim retorted. "Of course to each other."
Blair picked his fork back up and began to absently eat. "I suppose it makes sense," he mused.
Jim relaxed. He got on much better with a Blair who was thinking with his head not his hormones.
"After all, if anything happens to me you'd have power of attorney and stuff."
"Nothing's gonna happen to you, Chief," Jim said hastily. "I was thinking more of the pods. When B.J. vanishes, they have to be protected."
Blair's mouth turned down. "People are gonna think I'm some cold bitch," he said mournfully.
"What people think doesn't matter," Jim said firmly.
"People like Megan and Simon?"
Jim looked away uncomfortably. "Maybe we could go away," he suggested. He glanced back at Blair.
"For four months?"
Jim noticed Blair didn't point out the obvious problem, which is that the pods would still exist, and still have to be explained. Unless they did give them up for adoption... Jim hastily dismissed that idea for now. Blair was right, better to live this one day at a time.
"So we get married?" Jim ventured.
Blair considered, head on one side, looking so much like his real self for a moment that Jim's heart caught.
"I suppose it would be for the best," Blair finally said. "Where? How?"
"Vegas?" Jim suggested.
"Hey!" Blair pounced on the suggestion. "Yeah! That was a great weekend we had there last year." His eyes grew dreamy. "Remember that seafood place? They had all-you-can-eat."
Jim rolled his eyes. "When does this food phase end?"
"What phase?" Blair asked in irritation. He dug into the lasagna with his fork. "I told you, I always ate like this."
"Right," Jim said dryly. "I forgot."
********
After dinner Blair curled up on the couch, eyes fixed to the television blankly. Jim watched him, knowing that without the distraction to his mind his thoughts would be going over and over their dilemma. Wanting to go to him, Jim hesitated. Blair had not approached him since three days before when they had found out the truth. They had held one another in the shower that day, for comfort, but since then Blair had kept his distance.
Now Jim realised how difficult it got, day after day, to broach that widening gap.
Why can't I go to him? Just sit next to him on the couch as I've down so many times over the last few months. Pull him close, cuddle?
Because he might push me away, Jim thought. And what would he do then?
But maybe he's just waiting for me to make the first move?
Jim stood, going for a casual saunter. "Want a beer?" he called over his shoulder. Then he caught himself and glanced over apologetically at Blair's glaring face. "Oops, sorry," he said contritely.
Bad start.
He decided against a beer himself, grabbing a bottle of fruit juice and sauntering back to the couch. He almost lost his nerve at the last moment, but he steeled himself long enough to sit next to Blair on the couch.
"Okay, Chief?"
Blair shrugged.
Jim put his juice down, heart beating. It felt like the first time again, reaching out, fearing rejection, or worse, scorn. He turned to the screen, watching the moving images without taking them in. Tentatively he laid a hand on Blair's, stroking tapered fingers gently. For a moment he feared Blair would sit lax under his touch, then slim fingers were turning in his, grasping his hand.
Jim closed his eyes on a wave of relief.
He turned, finding Blair's eyes on his, wide, blue, full of questions and mysteries. Jim tried a smile, and Blair studied him for a moment, before offering a lopsided one back.
Then Blair was flowing toward him like water, curling up against him as he always did, as if nothing had changed. For just a moment Jim wondered if he'd over emphasised their separation in his mind, exaggerating its importance. Then Blair smoothed his cheek on Jim's shoulder.
"Missed you," he whispered.
"Me too, Chief," Jim said thickly. He swallowed hard. "We don't let this rip us apart, right?"
Blair hummed his agreement, then his body grew slack and he drifted into sleep.
Jim held him close, while the silent television brightened the room with its flickering light.
********
Jim woke up the next morning feeling queasy. "Must have been that lasagna," he muttered to himself. Blair was still snoring lightly beside him, and he lay for a while, watching him sleep.
He didn't look any different. Well, any different from the last few months anyway. His cheeks were a little fuller, hardly surprising considering the vast amount of candy he'd been putting away. But there was no obvious outward change.
Jim recalled the video again, and he slid his hand under the blankets, curving it around the slight swell of Blair's belly.
"Measuring me?" Blair mumbled sleepily.
Jim jerked his hand away. "Sorry," he muttered.
Blair yawned and rolled onto his back. "S'okay," he yawned again. "It's all right to be curious." He pulled the blanket down and pulled up his long t-shirt, exposing his tummy. "Doesn't look any different does it?"
Jim concentrated hard, hearing the muffled heartbeats again. Lowering his head he pressed his ear to the swell, hearing them more clearly now, past all the swooshes and rumblings going on inside.
Blair's hands came up, holding his head in place. "Guess it's gonna start getting big there soon," he said tonelessly.
Jim turned his head and gazed up at him, wondering what he was thinking.
"Just got used to me looking like this, and then I go and swell up like a balloon," Blair continued gloomily.
Jim sat up, smoothing Blair's belly thoughtfully. "Hard to believe those two little pods fit in there," he marveled.
"I know," Blair agreed, mouth turned down.
Jim's smoothing turned to stroking. "Cheer up, Chief," he said softly. "It'll be okay."
"Easy for you to say," Blair returned without heat.
"Yeah, it is," Jim agreed. "But that's me, chronic panicker from way back. Remember how I was when my Sentinel abilities kicked back in? I was out of control."
"I know the feeling," Blair grumped.
"You know what I loved about you first, Chief?" Jim asked.
Blair blinked at the apparent change of subject. "My boobs?"
Jim chuckled, lying down next to Blair, propped on one elbow. "No, that was what I lusted over first," he laughed. "No, I mean what I loved about you, and this actually predates the whole boob thing."
Blair looked intrigued. "Really? Before?"
"Before," Jim confirmed.
"Loved?"
"I've always loved you, Chief," Jim reminded him. "Well, maybe not always, but pretty quickly. I just wasn't in love with you back then."
"Yeah," Blair grinned. "I guess I know that feeling. So, what did you love about me then?"
Jim pushed back an errant curl. "Your enthusiasm," he said fondly. "The way you embraced everything in your life. A problem was there to be solved, a new situation was to be observed. A new person was someone you could learn from."
Blair's lips turned up. "I am a scientist, Jim."
"It's not scientific curiosity. It's you. I watch people watching you. The way you focus your whole attention on them, as if what they have to tell you is the most interesting thing you'll ever hear. I have to tell you, having been on the receiving end of that, it's pretty heady."
A soft rose flush coloured Blair's cheeks, and he wrinkled his nose in embarrassment.
"And this year, the way you've taken each new event and turned it into a discovery. I have to tell you, I've been in awe."
"I didn't have much choice," Blair shrugged.
"Yes, you did. You could have crawled into some hole for a year, like your ancestors did. But you stayed, and embraced it."
Blair's hand covered Jim's on his belly, and he stroked thoughtfully. "So, you're saying I should do the same thing here?"
"I guess we have a couple of choices, Chief," Jim said carefully. "We can whine and snipe and generally make ourselves miserable for the next sixteen weeks..."
"Or we can embrace it," Blair finished.
"I've never been through this either, Blair," Jim admitted.
Something occurred to Blair and he squeezed Jim's hand. "Hey! These pods could be Sentinels!"
Jim had to smile at the enthusiastic pronouncement. "Or Guides," he added.
"Or one of each," Blair mused.
"Scary thought."
"And way ahead of my schedule," Blair reminded him. "One day at a time, remember?" He cocked his head on one side and frowned thoughtfully. "Although... It is kinda interesting to speculate, isn't it?"
Jim heaved himself up. "Interesting is the word," he said dryly.
Blair lay where he was, still looking thoughtful. "Your genes and my genes," he mused.
Jim paused, considering this. "That's pretty weird," he concluded finally.
Blair sat up with a grin. "Embrace it, right, Jim?"
Jim chuckled, then pounced carefully, pushing Blair back onto the bed. "I'd rather embrace you."
Blair mock struggled. "You've done enough!" he said indignantly.
"Yeah, but just think," Jim murmured, licking one curved ear. "No more condoms."
Blair stilled, eyes widening. "I've never done it au natural before," he breathed.
"I know," Jim chuckled. "I've been here, remember?"
Blair grabbed his hair and shook it gently. "No, dummy," he chided. "I mean I've never done it without a rubber."
Jim thought about that. The kid had grown up in the AIDS era, no doubt about that. And he'd never been married. "Wow," Jim said.
"It's not fair," Blair said, looking sulky. "I've never had sex without a condom. And now I don't even have anything to roll it on."
Jim convulsed with laughter, rolling off Blair and collapsing on the bed. "God, Chief," he gasped.
"Just you wait," Blair said fiercely, rolling over on top of him and tickling mercilessly. "I'll be getting it back before too much longer, then we'll see if you laugh."
Jim sobered a little. Blair with his dick back.
No, don't go there.
"That took the smile off your face," Blair said in grim satisfaction.
"No fair teasing me about it!" Jim complained. "I just got used to the pregnant thing, give me time before you joke about anything else growing."
Now it was Blair's time to laugh, and Jim took the advantage and rolled back over on top of him, pinning him down.
"Careful," Blair giggled. "The pods!"
Jim leaned over. "Hey, pods!" he called at Blair's tummy. "Look out! I'm coming in!"
********
"Hi, Sweetie!" Naomi greeted Jim with a kiss. "Hi, Jim," she said sweetly.
"Hi, Naomi."
"I bought wine!" Blair's mother said gaily, waving a bottle of red around. "Your favourite Australian wine, Jim."
"I'll open it up," Jim said, raising his brows at Blair significantly. They'd agreed it was Blair's job to tell his mother about the pregnancy, although Jim had agreed to be there for moral support.
"Blair, you look just gorgeous today!" Naomi exclaimed. "But I do wish you'd wear more dresses, honey, make the most of it while you can."
"I just can't get used to them, Mom."
"Last time we went out he wore his blue dress, with bike pants underneath!" Jim called from the kitchen.
"I feel naked in a dress," Blair explained.
Naomi patted his hand slyly. "That's part of the fun, sweetie."
Jim chuckled under his breath. The woman was incorrigible.
"Actually, Mom, Jim and I asked you over because we have some news," Blair began.
"I wondered when you were going to tell me!" Naomi exclaimed. She leaned over and gave Blair an impulsive hug. "I'm so happy for you both!"
Over Naomi's shoulder Blair met Jim's gaze in astonishment. "Mom?"
"Well, it was so obvious you two were going to get together," Naomi gushed. She drew back and cupped Blair's pointed chin. "I knew right from the beginning!"
"You did?" Blair said weakly.
Naomi flew across the room and met Jim in the kitchen area. "I knew you couldn't resist my boy for long!" she scolded him. Then she hugged him tight.
"I sure didn't," Jim muttered, patting her on the back awkwardly.
"Why did you wait so long to tell me?" she continued.
Jim looked over to Blair for help, but the little devil was just sitting back on the couch, a smirk on his face.
"We've been keeping it pretty quiet," Jim explained awkwardly.
"I suppose it's a pretty big deal for you two," Naomi said wisely. "I remember how confusing this gender swapping was." She patted Jim's face fondly. "Don't worry, Jim. Love knows no gender, in the end."
Jim smiled genuinely. Just when he wondered why Blair so staunchly defended his flaky mother, she came out with something like this.
"I've come to that conclusion myself, Naomi," he said warmly.
"That's not the only news we had for you, Mom," Blair chimed in. He exchanged a small smile with Jim. "But I'm glad you're so happy about me and Jim. It'll make this news a little easier."
"What news, honey?" Naomi let Jim lead her back to the couch. They all sat down together.
Blair took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant," he blurted out. Then he stared at her anxiously.
Naomi's face went through a rapid series of emotions, clear as day. Surprise, joy, and then finally, apprehension as she glanced down at Blair's stomach.
"Oh, honey," she said uneasily. "Have you thought this through? How much time do you have left?"
Blair reached out and took her hand. "We didn't plan this, Mom," he said gravely. Her eyes flew from him to Jim and then back again. "But with a little help we think we can bring these babies safely into the world."
"Babies?" Naomi repeated in a whisper, eyes huge.
Blair smiled and nodded shyly.
"Oh, Blair." She leaned forward and engulfed him in a hug, eyes closed tight. Then they opened and she was looking right at Jim. There was a deadly seriousness in that steady gaze, and Jim knew she was allowing him to read it clearly.
There was accusation in the fierce stare, and also an outraged demand. 'Look after my son,' it said resolutely.
Jim nodded once, admiring his lover's mother even more. The Naomi was pulling back.
"Well, okay then," she said tearfully. "Tell me all the details."
Blair wiped his eyes and nodded. He outlined the dates and dangers involved.
"I may know a doctor who can help you," Naomi said shrewdly. "You leave it with me for now, honey."
"Thanks, Mom," Blair said gratefully.
"But you put that out of your mind," Naomi said firmly. She took Blair's hand and then Jim's, holding them both together. "You enjoy this time," she advised. "Cherish it."
"We will," Jim promised, exchanging a glance with Blair. He cherished Blair everyday. There was room in there for the podlets.
"I will too," Naomi dimpled. "I know you don't want me buying you clothes, Blair, but you have to let me take you maternity clothes shopping."
Blair didn't want Naomi buying him clothes? That was news to Jim. He seemed to have no objection to Jim buying him stuff; in fact Jim had the credit card bills to prove it. Blair kept meticulous records of his purchases though, planning to pay back every cent.
Jim couldn't suppress his little flare of satisfaction. There'd be no question of that now of course. Blair could sit back and let himself be spoiled for a while.
"Sure, Mom," Blair was promising.
********
"Mom was great, wasn't she?" Blair said, drying the last of the dishes.
"Yeah," Jim agreed. "What was that stuff about her buying you clothes?"
Blair shrugged. "I've been independent for a long time, Jim," he pointed out. "If I let Naomi start buying me stuff, it would never end."
"You don't mind me buying you clothes," Jim couldn't resist saying.
"That's different," Blair said simply.
Jim smiled slowly. "Shame about the wine," he said, nodding to the bottle. It sat on the counter; the cork shoved roughly back into it. Naomi had insisted if Blair couldn't drink, no one else would either.
"We'll save it for later," Blair promised. He smiled, then chuckled. "I thought of something before, when you were making faces at something Mom said."
"Yeah?" Jim smiled back.
Blair opened his mouth, then chuckled some more.
"What?" Jim said, laughing himself now.
"After the wedding," Blair giggled. "Naomi will be your mother-in-law!" He bent over at the waist, laughing.
Jim blinked, his chuckles fading. "Oh, boy."
End of Part Eighteen.
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