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B.J Sandburg Part Sixteen.
Blair frowned at the spines of the books as he made his way slowly along the shelves. "What's with all these spooky thrillers?" he grumbled.
"Yeah," Megan agreed. "I hate that creepy stuff."
"Mills and Boon is over there," Blair pointed and snickered.
"So I like happy endings," Megan defended. "I get enough reality every day, I don't need to read all the gritty details for entertainment."
Blair spotted a convenient footstool and sat down gratefully. "My feet are killing me," he complained.
Megan flicked a glance at her watch. "We don't meet Jim for another hour. Want to grab a coffee?"
Blair made a face. "Just the smell turns my stomach these days," he complained.
"Still fighting that tummy bug?" Megan asked sympathetically.
"I can't seem to shake it," Blair sighed. He stood, rubbing his aching spine. "This has been one long winter."
Megan nodded. "Everybody's had it. Dale in Vice was off for two weeks. His captain was screaming."
"So people come in to work and just spread the germs around anyway," Blair groused. "I swear I caught it cos Simon dragged himself in day after day sneezing and coughing."
"You buying anything?"
Blair looked down at the few books he'd collected. He couldn't even remember what had appealed to him about them. "Nah."
They stepped out of the bookstore into a bright early February day. "If you don't want coffee, how about a milk shake?" Megan suggested. "There's an ice cream parlour about a block that way."
"Next time we stay in the Mall," Blair said firmly. "I like my shopping trips nicely sanitised, with air-conditioning and absolutely no dealing with the elements."
"Hey, the sun is shining in Cascade," Megan pointed out. She frowned up into the pale yellow sky. "Or what passes for sunshine in the North West. Make the most of it." She glanced over at Blair. "You must really miss that Californian sunshine?"
Blair neatly sidestepped the question as always. "And you must miss that Aussie sunshine."
"Aussie," Megan corrected as she always did, pronouncing it 'ozzie'. "Not Ossie."
"Your second Winter Christmas," Blair reminded her. "Did you still enjoy it?"
"It sure looked nice and festive," Megan said doubtfully. "But all those picturesque Chrissy cards didn't hint at slush in the streets and ice on the pavements. I used to think Melbourne winters were miserable, but you guys have us beat, Beej. Hands down."
"Just another example of U.S. superiority," Blair said smugly. They pushed open the door of the ice cream parlour and settled into a huge red booth.
"I need chocolate fudge," Blair pronounced, without looking at the menu.
"Remember we're meeting Jim for lunch," Megan reminded him.
"Oh, I'll be hungry again," Blair said with certainty. He tilted his head and studied Megan's menu as she read it, finally giving in and picking up his own. "Hey, they do chili fries here," he exclaimed. "Wanna share one? Extra cheese, bacon and onions."
"Uh, Beej," Megan began, folding her menu.
Blair turned to the back. "Or they have focaccia's. Mm, chicken paprika, sounds good."
Megan laid a hand on Blair's menu, pushing it flat on the table. "B.J," she said firmly. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."
Blair blinked at her in surprise. "Sure."
"I don't know how to put this, and I'm probably way outta line, but... Are you pregnant?"
Blair huffed out a surprised laugh. "Of course not!" he blurted out.
Megan's eyes were sincere and full of concern. "It's just that you've had this stomach flu for so long, and the smell of coffee turns your stomach. And no offence, but you're eating like there's no tomorrow. You can see why I'm concerned."
Blair felt his cheeks colour and he pushed the menu away. "I do have a tendency to binge when I'm happy," he confessed. "I've always had to watch my weight." He looked down at himself in concern. "Am I chunking up?"
"No," Megan insisted, patting his hands. "Not at all."
"Well, I'm certainly not pregnant," he said firmly. "But I have had some... er plumbing problems." He flushed, having learnt how open women were about all this stuff. Unfortunately he found it impossible to be as candid about such delicate subjects.
Megan had proven herself to be surprisingly astute before, and she must have noticed his discomfort, because she smiled and patted his hand again.
"Sorry to embarrass you, Beej," she apologised. "But I was getting worried." She winked. "Might have been fun though, seeing Jim's face when he found out he was going to be a father."
You have no idea how funny that would be, Blair thought, and then he blinked in surprise. "Jim?" he stuttered.
"Come on, Beej, who do you think you're kidding? You guys have been living together, what nine months? You don't date, he doesn't date. I can see why you'd keep it a secret from the captain, but why hide it from your mates?"
Blair sighed. He'd really hoped they were getting away with all this. "Simon knows," he informed her. "He dragged us into his office for a solid lecture about fraternisation on the job."
"How did he find out?" Megan asked curiously.
A wicked smile flitted across Blair's face. "He caught us kissing in the bull pen," he said innocently.
Megan's brows shot up. "Where the hell was I?" she sputtered.
"It was a Saturday," Blair explained. He ducked his head. "It was a great Saturday," he smiled reminiscently.
"Do tell," Megan said confidently.
Blair blushed again, unable to even imagine putting that day into words for her. How to describe the first time Jim told him he loved him? Their first true kiss as lovers. And that night...
Megan whistled lowly. "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer wishes he had your skills right now, Beej," she teased. "That really must have been some Saturday."
"It was," Blair confirmed. "And, Megan? I'm sorry I kept it such a secret."
"What was the big deal?"
Blair clenched his hands together. He really hated lying to his friends. Not for the first time he saw the wisdom in the advice from the family ancients about leaving friends behind for this year. Unfortunately that didn't take into account the new friends you made in your time of change. Megan had been a very good friend indeed to B.J.
"Megan," he began. "In just under four months I'm going back to California." He shrugged. "No ifs, buts or maybes. I didn't want to make it harder on Jim when I left having to explain why his lover left him behind."
"Then why go?" Megan appealed, brow creased. "What's so important in California?"
Blair shrugged. "I can't explain," he said helplessly.
"Well, I think you'll change you mind," Megan predicted. "I hope so."
"In six months you'll be back Down Under yourself," Blair reminded her. "Back to football, meat pies..." he hesitated, trying to remember the song Megan was known to break into now and then.
"Kangaroos and Holden cars," she reminded him with a grin.
"Exactly," Blair grinned back.
"I wasn't thinking about me," Megan told him. "I was thinking about you and Jim."
Blair sobered, looking down at the abandoned menu with a sigh. "Me and Jim," he repeated.
"So, uh, Jim," Megan said, eyes bright. Blair almost drew back at the avid light in them.
"Jim?" he squeaked.
"I have to admit, I'm curious," Megan said slyly, fiddling with a napkin.
"About what?" Blair asked warily, having been on the receiving end of her curiosity before.
"You know." The Aussie punched Blair on the arm playfully. "Jim," she said with broad emphasis, brows working. "What's he like?"
"Uh, you know Jim," Blair stalled.
"Not like you do, obviously," Megan said significantly. Her eyes took on a dreamy quality. "Come on, Beej, spill. What is it like being in bed with all those muscles?"
Blair's cheeks burst into flames. He would never get used to the way women talked to each other. As if on cue his cell phone rang and he flipped it open gratefully.
"Saved by the bell," Megan muttered. Blair tuned her out as he focused on Jim's voice.
"Hey, Chief," Jim greeted.
"Jim where are you?"
"Still at work, I'm afraid."
"You can't make it," Blair guessed in dismay.
"Sorry, baby," Jim said sincerely. "The mayor's scheduled a visit and Simon wants me here. If Connor's with you tell her to get her ass back to the station." Blair obligingly held the phone away from his ear so that Jim's tinny voice resounded across the table. "Tell her she takes too many long lunches as it is."
Megan narrowed her eyes.
"I'll tell her," Blair said innocently.
"Love you, Chief," Jim's low voice said absently, so that despite his disappointment Blair was smiling as he hung up the phone.
"I better get back," Megan complained, gathering up her purse. "Sorry about lunch."
"I might just go home and curl up for a nap," Blair said wearily.
Megan tousled his hair playfully. "Lucky thing."
********
Blair spun in a forest of butterflies, lighting on his hands, stroking his face with their fragile-soft wings. Megan appeared through their mist and peered into his eyes. "Are you pregnant?" she asked.
"I'm a man," he tried to say. "I can't be pregnant." But the words emerged as low squeaks in a voice he didn't recognise. Clutching at his throat in dismay he blinked through the cloud of butterflies, and Megan's face had vanished, replaced by the face of a woman he didn't know.
"Who are you?" he asked, watching the strange/familiar woman in the mirror mimic his question. "Who are you?" she repeated. Her hand came up to touch him and he flinched away, oddly repelled. Her hand dropped back and down, coming to rest on her softly swollen belly.
"No!" Blair tired to say as the image in the mirror distorted, altered, became his own face looking back at him. In slow motion horror he dropped his hand to his own belly, knowing before it touched flesh that he would feel the rounded swell.
And beneath his hand the bulge rippled as a butterfly-like motion stirred within him.
"No!" Blair shrieked, lungs aching from panting breaths. He sprang upwards, hands braced on the bed beneath him. "God," he panted, one hand clutching at his belly convulsively. Blue eyes widened as the movement within him roused again, stirring tentatively.
"God," he repeated in awed horror.
Downstairs the front door crashed open and closed, and Jim was running up the stairs, gun drawn.
"Chief?" he questioned urgently, eyes quartering the room, even though he must have known Blair was alone. "What is it?"
Blair turned stunned eyes on his lover, taking in the defensive stance blankly.
"I... I had a dream," he said, raising his hand to his throat, almost surprised when the light female voice emerged.
"A dream?" Jim repeated, lowering the gun a little. "I heard you in the elevator. I thought there was a damn rattle snake in here or something!"
Blair blinked again. "I'm sorry," he said automatically.
Jim tucked his gun away and sat on the edge of the bed. "That must have been some dream, Chief," he said more gently. He placed a hand over Blair's forehead, and the young woman leaned into the coolness gratefully. "You're a bit warm," Jim noted.
"Freaked me out," Blair muttered, gratefully turning into Jim's embrace when he raised one arm.
"Want to tell me about it?"
Blair's hand still clutched his stomach, clenching fingers white as they twisted in the fabric of his soft t-shirt. "It was just a dream," he said, reassuring himself. "Megan asked me if I was pregnant."
"What?" Jim stiffened.
"That's why I dreamed all that weird shit," Blair continued to himself. All the same, the memory of those delirious seconds between sleeping and waking haunted him. He almost swore he could still feel that curious rousing within him, so unlike anything he'd experienced before.
"Jim," he said suddenly. Feeling the need to look into his lover's eyes he pulled free of Jim's embrace, turning urgently to face him. "Would you do something for me?"
"Chief?" Jim asked in concern. His hands came up and covered Blair's where they clutched his jacket.
"Without asking questions, without laughing at me," Blair continued, the sense of something vital driving him.
"All right," Jim said slowly. "If that's what you need. What do you want me to do?"
Blair shuffled back, taking Jim's large hand and holding it for one moment. Then he placed it deliberately over his stomach.
Jim's gaze shot to his face, fingers clenching spasmodically.
"Listen," Blair said simply.
"For... For what?" Jim stuttered, in the voice of a man who really didn't want to know.
"A heartbeat." Blair watched as Jim's eyes widened, then dropped to the place where his hand lay. "Please, Jim," he whispered. "Just listen. Then tell me I'm crazy, pat me on the head in your best patronising manner, and this can be all over."
Jim's wide eyes hardened with determination, and his fingers softened, stroking over Blair's flesh through the shirt. He nodded once.
Blair swung his legs until he was sitting on the bed, and in a fluid move Jim was between his knees, gazing up at him solemnly. Without a word he leaned forward and lay his ear against Blair's belly.
Holding his breath Blair tilted his head back, eyes swimming as he studied the lines of the old ceiling. Jim's face was warm against him, and for long moments neither moved, as if they were frozen in time. And then Jim was drawing back slowly.
The moment he looked at Jim's grey face and stunned eyes he knew, and the knowledge ran like wildfire through him. But still, he had to ask.
"You heard it didn't you?" he whispered. "A heartbeat."
"No, Blair," Jim said, voice strangled. "I heard two."
End of Part Sixteen.
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